Led Zeppelin Moments: Where Rock Meets Reality

A Led Zeppelin Moment is the blend of our personal and often uneventful reality overlayed with the aggressive sounds of the rock outfit Led Zeppelin. The result of a Led Zeppelin Moment is that our perception is deranged to a sense of rock and roll disillusionment.

In Chuck Klosterman’s rock-infused narrative Killing Yourself To Live: 85% of a True Story, he boldly claims that:

Zeppelin is far and away the most popular rock band of all time, and they’re popular in a way that the Beatles and Stones cannot possibly compete with; this is because every straight man born after the year 1958 has at least one transitory period of his life when he believes Led Zeppelin is the only good band that ever existed. And there is no other rock group that generates that experience.

A Led Zeppelin Moment creates exactly that type of transitory experience in the short-form. I went through numerous stubborn musical moments in my adolescence where if it wasn’t Led Zeppelin, I wouldn’t listen. Led Zeppelin Moments are a true ultimatum of musical derangement.

In the Cameron Crowe written film Fast Times at Ridgemont High, there is a scene where the self-proclaimed chick magnet Mike Damone delivers his classic Five-Point Plan in picking up women to the younger Mark Ratner. Damone explains how “men have died trying to obtain this valuable information.” My favorite point, of course, includes:

Rule five…[which] is the most important, Rat. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.

Led Zeppelin Moments have always existed, but I believe I’m the first to put it into theory. If you’ve never experienced a Led Zeppelin Moment, I suggest you try this proven case study for yourself:

1. Download the song Bring It On Home here, which is from Zeppelin’s live compilation How The West Was Won.¹

2. Sync the song with your iPod, or whatever device you use when you are traveling. The key here is to play the song in the midst of transitionary movement.

3. If you are in the car, queue the song normally when you start the engine. Drive slowly and casually, keeping the windows up for the first minute and a half of the song as the harmonica blares and Robert Plant whines the powerful introduction.

4. When 1:38 hits on the song, instantly lower all of the windows and abruptly go over the speed limit. Don’t worry about anyone else on the road. This is about you. You’ll create a beautiful narrative fallacy of rock disillusionment, and I guarantee you’ll get chills.

Additional resources:

1. Attempt the above steps 1 through 4 while taking off in a plane. Time the moment the plane gets off of the ground with the 1:38 point in the song.

2. If you are giving a speech, talking on a panel or teaching a classroom of students, play The Ocean as people walk in. If you do this, people will be attentively curious to what you plan to say.

3. Make out with your significant other to side one of Led Zeppelin IV, as directed by Mike Damone. Side two probably works just as well, although I’ve never tried it.

1. Or, just watch the video here and imagine. [↩]

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