Searching for Creativity
It’s funny that when I sit down to write a post about creativity, the first thing I do when my fingers meet the surface of the laptop keys is immediately jump out of my leather computer chair to take a walk to the kitchen. The thing is, I’m not even hungry. For some reason, the fusion of creativity in my mind puts me in an altered state. Sometimes it happens after reading an enlightening blog post or after reading an outlandish book chapter. Sometimes it happens after having a difficult phone call. Sometimes, it just happens.
For some reason, when I’m in my most creative, vulnerable state, I feel the most poignant–with my face deliberately showing a blank state. What may appear as a lack of emotion on the outside is balanced by the neurons of emotion firing inside my head fueling an ambitious drive. I can sit with a empty expression staring at my screen, but type up an essay that is dynamic, full of life, feeling and free thought. It’s an absolute imbalance that occurs, which I’ve noticed and observed with many of the creative people I know.
Have you ever watched an artist paint, or an engineer work on a design? Of course they are focused. Of course they are paying attention. That’s not why they don’t talk to you while they work. There is a powerful and necessary imbalance going on. It’s a shift of thought and emotion that allows the mind and body to excrete free thought.
The more controlled this process becomes, the more powerful it can be. I’m still dealing with it, and probably not in the most civil or mature ways. I’m often selfish or distant to people that care about me purely by means of empathy.
I take a look at my iTunes and see Bob Dylan. A total genius, but often impersonal and cold.
I take another look at my book shelf and the most creative author that represented this theory most bluntly was Hunter S. Thompson.
Thompson was a gift to the literary world, who would commonly go into aggressive rages during writing sprees. How did he deal with it? Motorcycle rides. Shooting guns. Mostly drugs. Thompson’s creative force was incredible, not only on himself, but the people around him. There was just so much going on up there. With waves of creative juices flowing inside, he was permanently imbalanced. Fortunately, he left us his incredible writing to enjoy. Unfortunately, the juices were too much for him to handle, and he took his own life.
What I’m trying to manage is my creativity. Finding it. Controlling it. Using it. When it’s there, it’s great. Unfortunately, it it often affects how I treat other people.
Then again, balance is important, even if it’s not in the middle.
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